After struggling with depression for many years, personal trainer Jonny worked hard to get into a better headspace through mindfulness, exercise and psychological treatment. Here's his story:
"Due to a short platform at the next station, please alight from the front six coaches" states the monotonous drawl from the train speakers for the hundredth time that week.
I begin to panic. Thoughts flash through my head: 'they're onto me'; 'they know I get off at this station'; 'they're going to monitor the passengers walking towards the front of the train'; 'it's a trap'. But who are 'they'?
I glance sideways up the platform before I step off the train. The coast is clear. I trudge across the bridge picturing the police cars waiting for me in the car park, lights flashing brightly in the dark evening drizzle.
Relief. A baby-blue Honda Jazz, sat alone, with Mum behind the wheel. I mumble a greeting as my mind processes the fact that I'll at least be home safe this evening - but I know they're out there looking for me. I know I'm guilty. Guilty of what? I don't know, but my time is running out."
Welcome to the headspace of 16-year-old Jonny. I'd slept roughly one to two hours per night for the previous six months and unbeknownst to me was deep into a severe episode of depression. Sleeping pills hadn't worked - they'd knock me out until I would wake at 1 am and couldn't sleep again until school. My sleep-deprived, depressed brain had wreaked havoc on my academic ability. For months I had completely isolated myself from my closest friends. I couldn't face the world. My daily experience was paranoia, misery and social anxiety. To make matters worse, I thought these changes were permanent.
"For months I had completely isolated myself from my closest friends. I couldn't face the world."
The last 12 years have been a journey involving two further episodes of severe depression. For three years, I was unable to work or study, barely leaving my room. Over the years, I have had recoveries, sought treatment in under-funded mental health services, changed my career, and now have a more sustainable recovery with genuine optimism for the future. My story is one of hope. However desperate things may seem; it is possible to recover; it is possible to create a life worth living.
"What's brought the positive changes in my life? Exercise, mindfulness training and seeking professional support."
What's brought the positive changes in my life? Exercise, mindfulness training and seeking professional support. Every day I take part in mindfulness meditation. I also completed Yale's Science of Wellbeing course and read various books on evidence-based psychological and wellbeing techniques. Mindfulness training has a significant positive impact on me. I can't help but wonder how my life would be different if I had access to these tools when I was 16.
In the initial absence of proper psychological treatment, the gym and strength training helped me cope. Whatever my mood, whatever is going on in my life, I show up and work hard. Usually, the endorphins released will lift me, but if not, the sense of purpose obtained from progression towards a goal certainly will. I won a national bodybuilding show this year and have a realistic chance at competing as a professional one day. Things are looking up, and I feel blessed.
I am not alone in finding that exercise helps my mental health. A 2018 meta-analysis of the available research - including over 266,000 people - found those who completed the recommended 150 minutes of exercise per week had a 31% lower risk of depression than those who didn't. Working out has the power to transform mental wellbeing.
I also needed psychological treatment to improve my emotional health. I considered my depression to be relatively severe, yet surprisingly, I have never been offered a psychologist on the NHS. Instead, I was told by local services, "We only have a budget to help those who are going to harm themselves or other people".
"The future can be better"
The future can be better. What would happen if we have mandatory wellbeing education in secondary schools? What if everyone could access effective treatment? If GP's have an effective way to 'prescribe' exercise for mental illness? If people could access guided meditation apps for free? Emotional growth, through therapy and mindfulness training combined with a healthier lifestyle, can change people's lives for the better.
It is not only time for more research into the exciting potential benefits exercise, mindfulness training and therapy on mental wellbeing, but also how we can best deliver these to even more people.
